By Anonymous :
One love marriage. Unhappy parents of the groom. The marriage lasts for more than a decade. But was there honesty? Was there genuine happiness? I now begin to doubt.
The groom’s parents from the beginning were unsure if to accept the bride or not accept. To play fair to their religious beliefs, they ensured following the rituals that mark visit of goddess Laxmi in the form of a new bride in their home, and as soon as the rituals were over, they asked the Laxmi to leave. At any cost, they did not want to lose their son.
As time passed, rumors started spreading about the bride among all relatives. The groom’s relatives who’d never met the bride had already formed opinions about her. She would get looked down upon, given dirty looks, taunted, avoided… The bride grew recluse and ensured avoiding such public gatherings. The groom on the other hand continued to remain the apple of the family’s eyes. The groom decided to enjoy both the worlds. He would eat lunch with his new bride, and eat lunch again at his beloved mother’s to make her happy. The bride would be asked to mark her attendance at the grooms parent’s house when visitors came asking for the new daughter-in-law, and as soon as the guests left, curtains dropped. The bride was asked to leave again. Bride realized the fallacy of this behavior and began avoiding visits to the in-laws just to show off to the visitors.
Groom’s parents began using the situation more to their advantage and further began damaging the bride’s image. In all this, groom remained unhindered because he would continue to get showered in love by the parents. The groom’s parents ran a business and didn’t want to lose the free worker in groom, who had little authority.
Various happy and sad life events including child birth happened at the new couple’s house, but the groom’s parents remained distant. The bride living in the city of the groom where she knew no one managed her pregnancy alone following guidelines from the doctors and the books. They continued with their stories about the bride being toxic, while the bride suffered in silence. With nobody to fend for the bride, groom’s relatives like the mama’s (maternal uncle) and atya’s (paternal aunt) began passing lewd comments about the bride on her face. Sometimes silence is the best medicine. The bride would vent out to the groom but the highly educated yet emotionally blackmailed and financially dependent groom did little to stop and fend for his wife.
As time passed and relatives began getting acquainted with the bride, they realized that she isn’t as bad as she is being portrayed. Groom’s parents were perplexed with the situation. They began visiting the bride because now people claimed she is good! The bride would offer to celebrate their birthdays, they would refuse saying they don’t celebrate birthdays. The bride would offer to take them to watch dramas and outings and dinners, they would refuse saying they don’t like it. The bride did everything in her capacity to please them. But nothing mattered to the groom’s parents who had decided that they don’t want the bride in their lives. The groom’s mother ensured that she would not eat a bite cooked by the bride and would prefer only the food cooked by the maid. At times, the groom’s mother would cook only for her husband and the groom at the bride’s house and ask the bride to cook for herself, which too was acceptable to the bride.
Now the groom’s parents were in dilemma.
Nothing they did affected the bride and they began playing mind games. They would make pity faces when the groom returned from work. The groom formed an impression that the bride must’ve said something to his loving parents and an argument would ensue.
Upon returning home, knowing that the groom is on their side all the time, the groom’s parents began creating a picture of how they’re scared to visit the couple. Now the bride had become a full blown villain of the house. The groom and the new child would get invited for the family events, but not the bride. If at all she would visit, she would be made to feel unwelcome with displeasured looks.
On one particular festival, the groom’s father asked the bride to get out of their house because she had done the felony of cooking breakfast in their house. All hells broke loose for the bride and she finally decided to never visit their house again. Groom’s parents were finally happy as this is what they always wanted. Now her absence for family festivals and events began falling to their advantage supporting their created impression about the bride.
There came a time where the bride began realizing it was her fault after all. All these years she endured silently. She did not question her husband. She thought it is unfair to ask him to fight for her or break ties with his family that treated her so badly. Their contribution in the bride’s life was a zilch, not in sickness, not in happiness. All they wanted was their son and the grandchild, in whose life, their contribution was zero!
It is funny how our mind works…if you get told a thousand times that you are bad, you begin believing, may be, you are that bad! Every person has the right to be treated with love and respect, and if you fail to get it, is it worth staying put in such a toxic marriage? What’s the use of a two-timing husband who finds it okay for his wife to be humiliated or un-invited or being looked down at! What about the child? What impression about his mother will he carry when surrounded by manipulative grandparents and an absent mother?
Drop in your comments to advise the bride.
Relax.