Overcoming Grief & Healing – A positive way to live life ahead

Womendiaries

Author: Lakshmi Anila

Many of us might have gone through difficult times in our lives. Sometimes it can be quite overwhelming for us to cope up emotionally and psychologically and at times physically in such unprecedented situations. Baffled by the circumstances, we often carry the burden of grief all by ourselves, ending up either blaming us or others. By doing so we weigh down the possibilities of self-healing.  It is important to make peace with our mind through the process of self-healing, for our wellness and for the environment we are involved in or that surrounds us.

At times the physical pain that one experience is quite noticeable and hence is easy to seek treatment and get treated. Whereas, many a times we neglect the emotional or psychological pain, thinking as not treat worthy or at times suppressing it. The flip side of this ignorance could be quite grave and dangerous to the health of the person in its wholesomeness itself. Never hold oneself from seeking help or comfort while experiencing emotional breakdown or trauma. At times people resist themselves from reaching out for help to get better, thinking   it as a social taboo or with the thinking” what others perceive about it”.  One must make sure to put their best interest as first priority (in terms of emotional wellness) above other considerations.

In today’s world we can emotionally heal ourselves through adoption of various approaches. The first step is awareness (of the emotional pain), second is willingness to seek help, the third is acceptance and the fourth one is closure.

Let’s have an insight into the first and foremost approach vis, awareness. Usually when we face a loss, our mind takes time to process what is happening to us. We are so numbed by the bereavement that we often fall into denial. Such denial impedes our willingness to accept the reality. The awareness that we are going through an emotional roller-coaster comes quite after a phase of self-doubting, question anything and everything around us. This is what is usually know as “grieving”. Grieving need not necessarily be a physical death of someone we love, it could be an emotional detachment or fall apart of the “perception” of life or a person or a thing.

The self-awareness of one’s own emotional state of mind and the readiness to seek assistance can help a person deal with healing the situation in a holistic way. If one does not seek voluntary assistance, as is the case of majority situation, the chance that person will go into a mode of self-withdrawal or even to a stage of depression. Hence those close to the person shall take initiative in guiding the person to seek assistance. That is why willingness to seek assistance plays a crucial role in healing.

To liberate ourself from grief we have to consciously try to communicate our distressed feelings with our near and dear ones. Sharing grief help reduce the burden of pain we experience. It is a great relief when there is an ear to listen us and words to comfort us or just the presence of a friend or a family member to calm our mind.

If we do not have an immediate relative or a friend to share our mind, we may have to search for other sources that can be reached out for healing oneself. Sometime medical approaches like a therapist or a psychologist can be a way to deal the mental stress. These professionals may also help deal with grief in a systematic way so that we can recover both physically and psychologically.

Reach out for a support group. By doing so not only the members of the group help us recover but also, we may end up helping others to heal their emotional wounds. When people show empathy towards each other, it may at times lead to emotional contagion. When someone shows compassion to strangers in distress, others who observe these emotions and behavior tend to copy them. They also start showing compassion to needy people.

Once we systematically deal with our grief, it will help us accept what had happened, thus liberating ourselves from the burden. It will not only help us move on in life but also embrace ourself. When we accept circumstances (acceptance)that led to the loss of the person, we will be able to restart our routine life without any guilt feeling. The same applies to the people who suffer different kinds of emotional distress. No matter the duration of time we take to make peace with ourself by letting us heal ourself, it will be all worth. After all, everyone deserves to live their life free of psychological grief. A person can function on his or her full potential only mentally and physically fit.

When a person goes through a trauma the negative energy such as anger, fear and resentment associated with the trauma tend to be trapped in the person’s body energy also known as chakras. There is a traditional psychological therapy known as ‘pranic-psychotherapy’ intended to help release these negative emotions thus helping the person to be in harmony with himself or herself.

Some people seek solace in religion, where the spiritual leader or the priest help them deal with the grief through their religious decorum or by help them practicing meditation. This approach also helps some people liberate themselves from grief.

The final step of healing is “closure”. Closure means coming in conscious terms with the ambiguity of an unprecedented situation in one’s life. Our mind always seeks a logical explanation to the events that occur in our life. Sometimes if we may not understand the happenings in our life, we may overthink on the distressed event causing anguish to ourselves. Instead of brooding over the past we must allow ourselves to rely on a closure medium. The medium can be in any form. We can rely on philosophical thoughts, by believing that whatever happens in our life is a lesson. It teaches us to be more aware of ourselves, to be strong, self-depended and sometime to re-evaluate the people around us. A hard time always reveals the true nature of human and to be more responsible of the choices we make in our life. Closure may differ from person to person depending on what they are grieving. It also helps us to be more assertive for our emotional well-being. Reach out for professional help if needed. In conclusion, always try to find a constructive and meaningful way of closure.

 In nutshell, self-healing is the best form of healing, if possible. Eventually when life goes on, we have to find a way to live in peace all by ourselves.

Image Courtesy: Karolina Grabowska: Pexels