By Anonymous (Ms. Anonymous wishes to curtail her identity. She is not prepared to talk about her ordeal with friends and relatives.)
I was 36 weeks pregnant when I found out I was Covid positive. The year was 2020. The fear of the corona was still real. People were afraid to step out of their homes. The families suffering would get treated differently if people found out they have corona. Most of the world was still cautious and was taking every precaution they could.
I had imagined my first pregnancy differently. Being the first time mother, I hoped to get pampered endlessly by my dear ones. I would eat my favorite dishes from every possible restaurant around my city, Pune. My husband and I would enjoy the last trip as a couple before becoming parents. I would show off my baby bump proudly to the world. But alas, Covid changed everything!
Throughout my pregnancy, I was in house arrest. I ate home-cooked food, which was a blessing in disguise as I put on healthy pregnancy weight. But I could not meet my dear ones. There was a strict curfew and I could step out only for my routine doctor visits. Those were difficult times. I had a big task to keep myself sane, calm, and happy for the sake of my baby. Garbha sanskar techniques taught by my sister proved enormously effective at that time.
I always hoped and was confident that I would get through with normal delivery. As per the hospital procedure I took my first covid test a week before my due date. To my utter disbelief, it came positive and that changed everything. I was asymptomatic all along. I had fatigue for some time, but we all thought its due to pregnancy. Who knew!
My doctor refused to get me delivered!
Now my planned hospital admission was out of question. Me and my family went through immense pressure. The situation was tough. My father did everything he could and got me admitted to a renowned hospital in the isolation ward. The doctor, who was a friend of my father’s, suggested going for C-section delivery so that there would be some control over my situation post-operation. Normal delivery would involve unforeseen complications and could turn fatal for me and the baby. I went with the flow, without questioning, without arguing, and keeping calm that whole time. I now think that the survival instinct saved me from going into depression.
By God’s grace, the operation was a success. To this day, I cannot bring myself to imagine how they performed covid test on my baby which thankfully came negative.
My baby came into this world and I could not see her for 8 hours. I was in ICU under observation, although in deep anesthesia, hallucinating, hearing my baby’s cry, wondering if I heard correctly that I have a girl. My father came to drop me off at the operation theater that was the last time I saw at least one of my parents. Never knew what would happen, if I would survive this, if I would be able to see my dear ones again, if I would be able to hold my baby even for once.
The postpartum period was hard, I couldn’t think straight for days. I took days to complete simple tasks. My family stood not behind but right beside me all along. They were brave enough to accompany me in that Covid ward, stayed there, took care of my baby when I couldn’t.
Something deep within me evoked the strength that I needed to bear all this. It showed me that side of me which I didn’t knew existed. The whole experience was traumatizing. It took a toll on me both mentally and physically. They say you are reborn when your baby is born. I felt that has literally happened to me. Those were extremely tough days of my life. It made me stronger, gave me tremendous confidence.
I am wiser, braver and a little bit more sensitive person now and I am proud of myself. I have my spirits up and there is nothing in this world that can demoralize me. So bring it on Universe! I am ready for your challenges!